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	<title>GARCIAWESTBERG</title>
	<link>http://garciawestberg.com</link>
	<description>holistic psychotherapy</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 09 May 2012 14:24:09 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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	<item>
		<title>Serenity Prayer</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. 
]]></description>
		<link>http://garciawestberg.com/2012/05/09/serenity-prayer/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Sexual Orientation May Not be As Clear-Cut As We Think</title>
		<description><![CDATA[67% of women in a recent study stated that they had thought about or questioned their sexual orientation before identifying as heterosexual.
Morgan, E. &#38; Thompson, E. (2010).  Processes of sexual orientation questioning among heterosexual women.  Journal of Sex Research, 48(1).
]]></description>
		<link>http://garciawestberg.com/2012/04/22/sexual-identity-clearcut/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>DO MASCULINE MEN MAKE GOOD PARTNERS?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Women are attracted to men who have masculine characteristics.  Researchers report that women are attracted to tall, dark and handsome men who speak in low sultry voices.  Masculine traits are said to be consequential to high levels of testosterone.  Although women are attracted to men with high levels of testosterone, testosterone has been found to be indicative of male infidelity, violence, and divorce.  Also, men with masculine voices and faces report having more sexual partners, especially short-term and unfaithful relationships. In other words, high levels of testosterone, or masculine characteristics, make for a bad husband and father.
Puts, D., Jones, B., DeBruine, L. (2012). Sexual Selection on Human Faces and Voices, Journal of Sex Research, 49(2-3), 227-243.
]]></description>
		<link>http://garciawestberg.com/2012/04/22/masculine-men-good-partners/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>PREDICTORS OF SEXUAL DESIRE</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Researchers have found that the amount of sexual desire a person experiences can be predicted by whether or not a person can stay focused on the sexual part of the moment rather than thinking about something else.  Sexual desire will most likely be decreased if a person thinks about whether or not they are performing well sexually.  Thoughts regarding shame about the sexual act can also diminish sexual desire.
Carvallo, J. &#38; Nobre, P. (2011).  Predictors of Men&#8217;s Sexual Desire:  The Role of Psychological, Cognitive-Emotional, Relational, and Medical Factors.  Journal of Sex Research, 48(2-3).
]]></description>
		<link>http://garciawestberg.com/2012/04/22/influences-sexual-desire/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Negotiating Cunnilingus</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The majority of Americans engage in oral sex.  However, in the 1950s the rate for oral sex was only 11-17%.  The large increase in oral sex acts has changed sexual scripts dramatically.  Meaning that, oral sex is now an expected part of the sexual act.  A recent study explored women&#8217;s experiences with cunnilingus (oral sex performed on a female).
This study documented that 3/4 of women they interviewed viewed cunnilingus as a positive event.  However, the study reported that women wanted it more in a long-term relationship than in one night stands.  This study suggested that women view cunnilingus as a very intimate act and long-term relationships affords them the opportunity to explore this intimacy, or to &#8220;let down their guard.&#8221;
This study concluded that one cannot anticipate whether a woman will want to engage in cunnilingus.  Some will, some wont and some of the women that view it positively will enjoy ...]]></description>
		<link>http://garciawestberg.com/2012/04/10/negotiating-cunnilingus/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Sexual Satisfaction and Body Image</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Having positive feelings about one&#8217;s body (i.e. positive body image) has been found to be connected to sexual satisfaction.  Positive body image is related to sexual desire, sexual arousal, and sexual satisfaction.  People who feel good about the way they look are better off sexually.  On the other hand, people who have negative feelings about their bodies are more likely to have sexual problems.
Most people around the world are dissatisfied with their bodies.  Even children are plagued with low body satisfaction.  Studies have found that over 50% of elementary aged girls are dissatisfied with their body size.
Check out this site if you want to get some ideas about how to become more satisfied with your body.  Basically, you want to become aware of your feelings and thoughts regarding your body.  After you increased your awareness, you want to change these thoughts and feelings.
]]></description>
		<link>http://garciawestberg.com/2012/04/06/sexual-satisfaction-body-image/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>DON’T ASK QUESTIONS IF YOU WANT SOME ANSWERS</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;
You can spend hours, days, and even weeks and a lot of therapy trying to answer questions such as: Why do I get so angry? Why didn’t I get that job? Why did she dump me? There are times when it is good to look for answers, but there are other times when it is best to let it rest.
Questions cannot be answered with any accuracy. There are many answers to the same question; I could understand my anger, for example, to be rooted in some childhood trauma or I could understand it to be rooted in a need to manage stress. The answers we get depend on the book we are reading, the person we are talking to, or the time in which we answer the question. It may even depend on the weather.
When we ask questions we go into our heads (we think) and we remove ourselves from ...]]></description>
		<link>http://garciawestberg.com/2012/02/26/dont-questions-answers/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Communication Styles</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Virginia Satir is well known for her discussion regarding roles we take on when we communicate with each other.  She identifies the following as distinct communication styles we assume when we feel threatened, scared, of misunderstood.  Basically, the stances hide feelings.
Placator:  This stance involves feeling like one is wrong and that one needs to apologize and please someone else.  This stances places the person in a position of &#8220;lesser than&#8221; which  needs approval and recognition from someone else.  The placator will always try to avoid conflict.  Most often, this begs one to spend most of one&#8217;s time attending to what is important and urgent to others and ignoring the same for themselves.  This position is usually one that hides fear.   This is one of the most common communication stances.
Blamor: This stance involves protecting oneself from pain by blaming others.  It is a position of superiority because the other is to ...]]></description>
		<link>http://garciawestberg.com/2012/02/13/communication-styles/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>The 5 Freedoms</title>
		<description><![CDATA[This is probably the first thing I remember reading in graduate school.  To this day I repeat to myself that I have a right to express what I feel, think and need.

The freedom to see and hear what is here, instead of what “should” be, was, or will be.
The freedom to say what you feel and think, instead of what you “should” feel and think.
The freedom to feel what you feel, instead of what you “ought” to feel.
The freedom to ask for what you want, instead of always waiting for permission.
The freedom to take risks on you own behalf, instead of choosing to be only “secure”.

]]></description>
		<link>http://garciawestberg.com/2012/02/13/5-freedoms/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Communicating With Threatening People</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Virginia Satir is the queen of communication.  Watch how she models communicating with difficult and/or threatening people.  She demonstrates the different communicative stances people generally assume and how these stances can lead to disconnect.


]]></description>
		<link>http://garciawestberg.com/2012/02/13/communicating-threatening-people/</link>
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