Virginia Satir is well known for her discussion regarding roles we take on when we communicate with each other.  She identifies the following as distinct communication styles we assume when we feel threatened, scared, of misunderstood.  Basically, the stances hide feelings. Placator:  This stance involves feeling like one is wrong and that one needs to apologize and please someone else.  This stances places the person in a position of “lesser than” which  needs approval and recognition from someone else.  The placator will always try to avoid conflict.  Most often, this begs one to spend most of one’s time attending to what is important and urgent to others and ignoring the same for themselves.  This position is usually one that hides fear.   This is one of the most common communication stances. Blamor: This … Read entire article »

  This article focuses on a technique used to help couples listen to each other in a way that will lead the person speaking to reveal his innermost emotions and thoughts.  It is difficult to undertake without a therapist to referee and model, but it is worth a try.   … Read entire article »